Monday

Something To Keep In Mind, Ch. 1: Bathroom Talk

We're running out of original ideas, and these chronicles are only items of evidence.


You know where I find the confidence to go out into the world everyday? 


The fact that everyone eats and shits. Every other action may differ with humans, but with those two things, we are all on the same level.


Marilyn Monroe, Dr. Death, Joseph Stalin, Audrey Hepburn, Pol Pot, Jim Jones, Marie Antoinette, Ivan the Terrible, and Darth Vader; they all ate breakfast, lunch, and supper, and consequently, took a shit at least once a day. 


This is fact.


In your most difficult, painful times, is it not incredibly comforting to know that the elementary things we did to function 4,000 years ago we do to this day?


Michel de Montaigne put it most simply and poetically, "Kings and philosophers shit, and so do ladies".


Isn't that the most beautiful thing you've ever heard?

Allow me to paint you a picture:


It is the morning of April 30, 1945. Adolph Hitler awakes from his nervous slumber and feels that sharpness in his gut that one feels from time to time. The Fuhrer stumbles to the bathroom, lifts up his one-piece pajama dress and sits on the toilet. Most would probably imagine the Nazi leader's farts to sound like the horns of hell, but chances are they were quite disappointing on that frightful morning. 


He sits;

He thinks.


Assuming he didn't decide to just shit himself before he shot himself, he is alone for what could be the last time in his life.


The bathroom can make even the most evil people in the world human again. 


There's a kind of zen to be found in the bathroom, and the act of using it.


But ultimately, it is the body and mind in one of their most natural positions: sitting and thinking. 


And shitting.


Something to keep in mind

1 comment:

Jeff said...

The ultimate bathroom retreat is not complete without a bidet or better yet.......a portable bathroom bidet sprayer. The hand sprayer gives you superior control and water volume and if the bathroom was not designed to allow for a bidet it offers the convenience of installation on the existing toilet AND you don't have to get up and move every time! You will pay for it many times over in toilet paper savings. Available at http://www.bathroomsprayers.com